The Most Powerful Catalyst for Transformation
I'll get right to it since I know you'll probably scroll past the intro to find the substance!
Honesty with yourself, honesty with others.
You might think, "well, I am honest with myself. Why would I lie to myself?".
Let me tell you that you probably lie to yourself a lot more often that you think you do.
Lying to yourself doesn't have to be so blatant as, "I am blonde" when you're a brunette, or "I am tall" when you know you're on the shorter side.
The more stealthy and dangerous type of lying to yourself usually shows up when you are trying to accommodate others, avoid looking at your own pain, or out of fear of being rejected, alone, feeling badly, etc. It can be as simple as "I am not hungry", when really, you are, or as profound as "I am a woman" if on the inside you really identify as a man.
I'll give you an example of something that we all do all the time - the response you'll hear, and say on a daily basis - "I'm good!" when someone asks "how are you?". Maybe its not a lie, per-se, but it most likely isn't the full truth. It's just something we're sort of programed to say, I think to make social situations easier, to stay surface level, and to avoid making someone uncomfortable by actually saying, "ya know, I feel like crap today".
One of the most important and most challenging parts of improving yourself, and coaching others to help them improve, is being honest. Really being willing to look at and call out the things that are keeping you stuck, or in a pattern you don't want to be in.
I challenge you, moving forward...
Next time you are offered food or a drink, but usually turn down to not be a "bother", realize that you were offered this, and can accept. If you do want it, say it. Accept the offer, "yes, thank you!"
If someone asks if you like something, when you don't, tell the truth!
If your spouse asks you, "is everything okay?", and its not, tell them.
Before you go back to autopilot and hop in the car to go to work as you do every morning, ask yourself, is your job something that feels in alignment with who you really are?
Is that one friendship or relationship in your life possibly toxic?
Do you really want to spend money on that activity or service each month?
Is the way you are eating supporting your well-being, or adding to your stress?
Try to look at your life from a neutral, non-judgmental perspective (easier said than done, I know, but still, give it a try). Imagine you are your higher self, a friend of yours, or someone from another country (or another planet, or timeline) that you've never met before, viewing your life from the outside... noticing and observing.
Ask: Does this make sense? Is there something here that isn't serving a purpose anymore? Does something seem out of place, or detrimental? What isn't working? What needs to be addressed, but hasn't been?
Being honest with yourself is the only way you will end up getting - and accepting - the help that you need. If you don't consciously realize and accept that something needs to change, it very likely won't. That's the hard truth, but its the truth, which even if it stings at first, can be incredibly liberating, refreshing, and empowering.